Betty Crocker, eat your heart out

No matter how vigilant you are about your health, no matter how healthy you eat, no matter how many toxins you avoid, when you come into contact with 100+ people a day, you will get sick.  It's unavoidable.

So, in an unusual departure from the Mister's Sick theme, I am sick.  It's just a cold and I honestly believe it will be gone sooner than later without any lasting ill-effects.  Nevertheless, it's annoying and has successfully knocked me [somewhat] on my butt.  I started to feel a little sneezy on Thursday night, so, being the smart young lady I am, I went to bed a bit early, hoping to head things off with a good sleep.  I thought I'd succeeded... until about halfway through yesterday, when it became apparent I was not okay.  Eventually, I was interrupting client interactions to run to the bathroom and blow my nose before I dripped on the iPads.  Paints a lovely picture, I know.

I still thought I would come home and make the Kale Barley soup I almost made the other night, but I didn't.  By halfway through my walk home, I was a sniffling, hiccuping, angry mess.  I'm not sure if there is something more irritating that sniffling and then getting a vicious bout of hiccups because you're sniffling and being unable to control your breathing (thereby stopping the hiccups) because you're still sniffling.  Anyway, I was in quite a state by the time I burst into our home.  After I blew my nose and calmed down, I sent Mister out for vitamin water, V8, tissues, and food.  He returned with the least offensive flavor of Vitamin Water I've ever had and a falafel salad, heaped with roasted broccoli and cauliflower and a Wawa hoagie for himself.

Angst was all over that.

To my surprise, you can now get baby spinach on Wawa hoagies.  To my greater surprise, Angst wanted nothing to do with that!  Mister tried to give him some and he wouldn't even touch it until Mister also put some Ranch dressing on the spinach.  Then he licked the dressing off and started squeaking for more.  He started pulling Mister's wrist toward him when Mister picked a piece of Provolone cheese off of the sandwich to share with the poor, malnourished, starving kitty.  I told Angst I was disappointed in him skipping his spinach for cheese and asked him exactly what I was supposed to call the blog now?  Mister suggested Angst Loves Stinky Italian Cheese, but I just don't think it has the same ring.

Shortly after dinner, I went to bed and slept for 12 hours before getting up and stubbornly trying to go out and teach lessons.  That didn't end up happening, so after returning to bed for another few hours, I got up and tried to make dinner.  It was at this point Mister intervened.

"Stop trying to do stuff!  Sit down."

There will be no recipe because I have absolutely no idea how he did this, but my husband morphed into Benny cRocker and made a vegan version of Biscuits with Sausage Gravy.

So it turns out my husband is actually pretty good at making biscuits!  They were soft and puffy and tasty and split right down the middle when I pulled it apart at table.

He was a little weirded out making the gravy with "fake" sausage and soymilk, since he hasn't tried to make this since giving up meat, but it was so cute watching him putter around the kitchen.  Although a bit confused, Angst genuinely enjoyed this Special Episode of the Cooking Show.

He used Lightlife Gimme Lean sausage, but it wasn't quite as crumbly as he wanted it to be.  The gravy was pretty thick and started to congeal, but he decided it was due to not using enough fat, not the soymilk that set off the fire alarm upon being added to the skillet.

I'd never had Sausage Gravy and Biscuits before (I wasn't actually a huge sausage fan when I did eat meat), but it was tasty and Mister said it was "close enough."  Mister is a CookingWithoutARecipe kind of chef, but it turns out Lightlife actually did the work for him and you can check out their recipe here.

I've been upright long enough.  Time to drink more liquids and recline a little while I digest.  Hope everyone out there in the cyberverse is feeling okay!

no olives tonight

It's a pretty safe bet that Mister and I eat olives almost every day.  They are nearly always an accompaniment to our primarily Mediterranean dinners, so the only times I can think of that we don't have them at the table is when I make an Asian-inspired dish or we're out...which I usually try to time so they fall together.  We did not eat an Asian meal tonight, but we did not eat a Mediterranean meal either... in fact, for many reasons, tonight's dinner was entirely unsuited to olives.

I personally have never seen olives in a pub (unless it's a fancy pub with martinis)...

And tonight I made my Mister his veganized Bangers and Mash:

Ingredients:
4 Tofurky Beer Brats
1/2 stick of Earth Balance (or measure 1/4 c from the tub)
1 tsp olive oil
4 large shallots, thinly sliced
2-3 cloves of garlic, pressed
1 tsp sugar
1 tsp fresh thyme (or scant 1/2 tsp dried)
1/2 to 3/4 cup of red wine
2 cups vegetable broth
1 Tbsp vegan Worcestershire sauce
2 tsp cornstarch, dissolved in 1 Tbsp warm water
and for the mash...
2 lbs of Yukon Gold potatoes, cut into manageable chunks
2 Tbsp Earth Balance (1/2 of what remains from your earlier stick or measure from the tub)
1/3 to 1/2 cup unsweetened soymilk (or nondairy "milk" of your preference)


makes 4 servings


To make the gravy sauce, slice the shallots nice and thin, then press the garlic over top of them.  Melt the Earth Balance in a deep saute pan and add the olive oil.  Dump the whole pile of shallots and garlic into the heated oil 'n' EB and stir it up good, being sure to break up the rings of the shallots.

Cook for about 4-5 minutes, stirring occasionally.  Add the sugar, stir to coat, and allow to cook another 2 minutes or so.

Sprinkle on the thyme (quick tip: the easiest way to remove fresh thyme leaves from their stalks is by pulling the stalk through your finger(nail)s against the growth of leaves) and pour in your red wine.  Cook gently until reduced to just barely any liquid.

Pour in the vegetable broth and turn up the heat to get it to boil.  Once the stock is boiling somewhat rapidly, turn down the heat so that it's still bubbling gently.  Allow to cook until it's reduced by 80% - this took me about 30 minutes - stirring now and then.  When the gravy is appropriately reduced, stir in the Worcestershire sauce and then the slurry of cornstarch + water.  Turn heat to high and stir constantly until the gravy reaches a fierce, bubbling boil, then reduce heat slightly and continue to stir while it boils gently a few minutes.  Remove from heat.

Now, while you had those 30 minutes that the gravy was reducing, you should have been chopping the potatoes, putting them in a pot and covering them with water + 1", then boiling them until fork-tender (it took me about 10 minutes, but I chop small).  When the potatoes are done, drain them in a fine mesh colander and then dump them in your favorite Martha Stewart Blue mixing bowl.

Add 2 Tbsp of Earth Balance and start with 1/3 cup of soymilk (you can always add more).  Sprinkle on however much salt you think is appropriate (I went with a heaping teaspoon), then mash with a potato masher or fork (or even an electric mixer if you're feeling spunky) until smooth and creamy, adding more milk if necessary.

To serve, place one Tofurky Beer Brat on a plate (you're welcome, Mister), and lay a mountain of mashed potatoes beside it.  Place the gravy bowl on the table with a pretty little ladle and allow your dining partners to put it on their own plates, to taste.

It came out really good.  Mister was thrilled and I was very happy with my heaping mound of mashterpaters.  Mister and I once again remembered that we didn't know which hand held the knife, but we figured it was probably safest for the dominant hand to wield the sharp, pointy utensil.

As I'm sure you can imagine, Angst was also very excited about this "meat and potatoes" dinner.  He was so big-eyed and daring in his begging that Mister couldn't even be mad at him and even gave him a few pieces of his beer brat.

I can't take full credit for this recipe.  Since I was previously unacquainted with Bangers and Mash, I did do some internet research and was delighted to find the UK version of our Food Network, so the recipe above was inspired by and loosely based upon this one, penned by Ed Baines of Market Kitchen fame.